“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”
Winnie the Pooh, by A. A. Milne
I can still feel his soft chubby fingertips brushing against the hollow of my neck.
“What’s this, Mama?”
He was talking about my necklace. Or, more specifically, the object hanging on the end of my necklace.
“What does it look like?” I asked softly, staring down at the gold in my son’s small hands.
Julian fell quiet, turning the tiny object this way…that way…looking closer. I imagined that his curious mind was wondering if the object was special, or unique.
“It just looks like a circle,” he finally said. “A gold circle.”
I smiled, sadly…the simplicity of that answer sinking in.
“Yes. It is a circle. It was your brother’s circle…it belonged to Gabriel.”
The “circle” was a tiny baby’s ring that had never been placed on my second son’s finger. Not that it would have fit him anyway…he was too small when he died, the ring on the end of my necklace nearly the size of his entire hand.
“What’s it for?” Julian asked.
I paused, forming an answer in my head. “Just to remember your brother,” I finally said. “We brought this ring home with us from the hospital after Gabriel died. The nurse who took pictures of him placed this ring next to him in some of the photographs she took, and so…it touched him. I guess when I wear it around my neck, that I just feel closer to him, because he touched it.”
“Oh,” Julian said quietly, fingering the necklace once more. Then, subdued for my son, he gently placed the ring back onto my neck, laid his head down on my chest, and without a word, snuggled up against me on the couch.
And, together, we found peace.
Photo credit: <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/author/226757″>Rareclass</a> on <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/re/365f1b”>VisualHunt</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”> CC BY-NC-ND</a>. Photo credit: <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/author/dd46a6″>kona99</a> on <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/re/16bf3d”>VisualHunt</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”> CC BY-SA</a>. Photo credit: <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/author/eb8ba1″>taylormackenzie</a> on <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/re/16bf3d”>VisualHunt.com</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”> CC BY-SA</a>. Photo credit: <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/author/52f8ea”>Florian Grundstein</a> on <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/re/16bf3d”>Visualhunt.com</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”> CC BY-NC-SA</a>