“I don’t understand why these things have to happen,” my son said to me, looking down at his baby brother.
I was staring out of a window that didn’t exist, seeking an escape from my hospital bed that I couldn’t find. His words, so “adult” for a five-year-old, barely even drew me back in.
“Because they just do,” I think I said, numbness paralyzing me. “Because…they do.”
“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer…and everything collapses.”
To grieve…a journey with no logical beginning and, for some, no definite end. An up and down roller coaster ride alternating between hell and snapshots of heaven. A journey which challenges one’s very sanity…yet strengthens the determined warrior living within.
Undeniably, one of the toughest jobs a human being will ever have to endure.
Patience, love. That’s all you need. Patience for self, and patience for others who have no idea what you could possibly need on this path. Because the potholes and bumps on this road will not magically disappear, yet how you eventually manage to navigate them…will show the entire world, and your loved ones in Heaven, your utter, unstoppable, brilliance.
Photos on Visualhunt.com. Photo credit: <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/author/83161c”>Harry Thomas Photography</a> on <a href=”https://visualhunt.com/re/6475ed”>Visual Hunt</a> / <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”> CC BY</a>