I choose to be happy today,
I choose to be loving today,
I choose not to judge
and I choose not to fear.
I choose to be faithful,
and grateful, and HERE.
There are two motivating emotions that govern everything that we do. One is light, and one is dark. One is positive, the other negative. And one is something that we eagerly run towards, arms wide open, while the other we desperately run from and try to escape. Those two governing emotions that all humans share? Love…and fear.
All positive emotions can be categorized beneath love. Things like joy, passion, optimism, enthusiasm, freedom, safety and hopefulness. Similarly, all negative emotions belong to fear: jealousy, doubt, worry, grief, pessimism, anger, disappointment, powerlessness, boredom and frustration. Based on how you use your conscious mind, and on what internal messages you listen to, you are then able to make your own personal choices.
During my attempts to have another child, and in the several years following those unsuccessful endeavors, I made many choices. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have had enough money and resources to try several alternative therapies related to pregnancy, fertility and simple mental health, and try them, I have. Fertility clinics, naturopaths, nutritionists, acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine, Reiki, abdominal massage, healing touch and other energy healing modalities are on that list, and while all of these therapies have helped–most recently, with mental health–the number one thing that’s helped me the most, hasn’t cost me one single penny. And that “thing” is called mediation.
Meditation is an opportunity to be still, it is an invitation to bask in quietness, and it is one of the few times when you can go inside, to see what you see…to feel what you feel…to hear what you hear. Inner worlds change when we go inside: our heartbeat slows down, our breathing becomes rhythmic and relaxed and our hormones work towards balance and homeostasis. For me, it can become a place that’s hard to leave, and a place I stubbornly return to day after day.
This leads me back to choices. When I talk to people about meditation, there are those who clearly love it, while others continue to fear it. And I understand how the fearful people feel…I used to be one of them. The idea of “clearing my mind” or even allowing myself to investigate what was going on inside of me was terrifying. I would squirm in my chair, struggle with my breathing, think about anything OTHER than what I was doing, and many, many times, I would talk myself out of staying, and I would give up.
Eventually, as time passed and I became aware of how necessary meditation is for my health, I managed to sit still for five minutes. Within a week, I added another five minutes, and as each week went by, I continued this routine until I was up to thirty minutes and beyond. By that time, you could say I was hooked.
I think what I learned in this process, and why meditation became so “easy” for me, was that somewhere behind my eyelids, in the pitch blackness that only I could see, I found…God. And I think God found me.
It’s been said, and I find it true, that prayer is when we speak to God, but that meditation is when God speaks to us. And how can you hear God if you don’t sit still? I’ve prayed my entire life, yet I couldn’t hear. It wasn’t until I grew still enough, that peace began to find its way in.
Namasté…honoring the Light in you, knowing the Light in me, we are one.
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